Metro Theatre on Bloor

There’s a link on Streetcarnage about an academic who says thathalf the stories in the bible are just descriptions of heavy drug trips on Ayahuaska. I tried Ayahuaska in the summer, and I know the Bible pretty well. I agree.
On Sunday morning, I woke up hungover and alone as I tend to do these days and met Andrea, Nicole and Bianca at Clinton’s for brunch at noon. After we finished, we walked down Bloor, and went past the Metro Theatre, Toronto’s last porno theatre still open for business. Andrea and I were talking about how we had to go sometime, and figuring there’s no time like the present, we left Nicole and Bianca so we could recreate Deniro and Cybil Sheppard’s date in Taxi Driver.

There were about 20 guys, who all looked like they were in the 50 to 60 year old age range with beards scattered throughout the main theatre (keep in mind this is 2:00 in the afternoon), which happens to have 30 foot ceilings and crystal chandeliers. As soon as we sat down we could hear the suppressed heavy breathing and the tensed up creaking of the chairs. We even heard a guy exclaim “Oh, fuck!”. I don’t think I could’ve handled sitting there if I wasn’t stoned with a female buddy. If I’d been there alone, I would’ve felt like the dirtiest pervert victim; if I was there with a girlfriend I’d feel like she was being violated, and if I was there with a buddy I don’t know if I’d ever be able to look him in the eye again. At least with a girl that I’m friends with we could just giggle and freak out about the old-man circle jerk we’re sitting in the middle of. I have a hard time getting my head around my anyone would genuinely want to go to a public place to watch porn but I guess if that’s how you discovered inter-racial gang-bangs in your early 20’s in the 1970’s, there’s nothing quite like re-living your youth.

When I told Nick I’d went he said in a disgusted voice “You went there? That’s where old men go cruising!”. I’m not 100% sure if that’s right or not because they weren’t showing gay porn. It was black guy with white girl porn, but I guess if you’re an old guy you’ll take what you can get?

This is definitely the grossest thing I’ve done since Jon and Jacob bought me a rub and tug for my birthday.
Upon ‘s IM recommendation, I started drinking berry tea with lemon and honey yesterday to clear up my cough. It’s working!

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